Childhood jokes
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.
It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?
It's the only way they’ll get love.
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵💫
What's a joke that an orphan has never heard before?
A dad joke.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.