Childhood

Childhood Jokes

Batman

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

Orphan

Why do orphans hate hide and seek?

Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.

Free Willy

Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?

He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.

Orphan

Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?

It's the only way they’ll get love.

Orphanage

I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."

Parent

Having homosexual parents must be terrible.

Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".

Child

I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🀣🀣🀣

Comeback

Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."

The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"

Helen Keller

What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?

Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.

Orphan

Are you angry?

Go bully an orphan!

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Cricket

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat, his batting.

2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

Ladder

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Kid

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.

Game

What do kids play when they have nothing else to do?

Bored games.