Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.
Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"
The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.
I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.
Why is E.T. better than an orphan?
Because he found his way home.
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?
The ant knows where home is.
I told a kid his dad is a magician because he disappeared and never came back home.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.
Why do orphans love playing with boomerangs? Because it always comes back.
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A selfie.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to.
Get it?
Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?
A. Hide and seek.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
