I told a kid his dad is a magician because he disappeared and never came back home.
What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
Q. What is an orphans favourite game
A. Hide and seek
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
What's harder than steel?
Michel Jackson in an orphanage.
