Childhood jokes
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
Iâm not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
What's harder than steel?
Michel Jackson in an orphanage.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They donât know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: Iâm going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because Iâm a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what itâs like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? Itâs not like they can tell their parents.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They canât see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they donât know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what itâs like to be Wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They donât know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphanâs family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter âfâ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphanâs least favorite song? "We are Family."
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite TV show? "Family Guy."
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite movie? "Meet the Parents."
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite type of music? House.
Next: Inappropriate Jokes
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite store? Home Depot.
Whatâs an orphanâs favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Fosterâs.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because itâs the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Q: What do orphans call a family reunion?
A: Me time.
Q: Why are orphans so successful? A: Because when they were younger, they got told, "Go big or go home," and only had one option.
I figure it's ok to hit orphans.
What are they gonna do? Go tell their parents?
Why do orphans like boomerangs so much?
Because they come back.
Why do orphans play with boomerangs?
Because they come back.
Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?
He would never make it home base.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
Why is an orphan afraid to play baseball?
They are afraid they won't find home.
What does an orphan say a lot? "Where is my house?"
Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?
Because they have no parental guidance.
What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?
My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.
Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around.
Why I turn around?
Infopka.com
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
What do you call an orphan family? None existent.
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)