Childhood jokes
I told a kid his dad is a magician because he disappeared and never came back home.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.
Why do orphans love playing with boomerangs? Because it always comes back.
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A selfie.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to.
Get it?
Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?
A. Hide and seek.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
What is an orphan's favorite part of school homework?
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
Why don't orphans have iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.