Child jokes
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"
The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."
A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"
The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."
Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Dude, ABC, what comes next?
Kid: A big fat noob.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
Why can't orphans play baseball? They ain't got no home to run to.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home base.