Cheese

Cheese jokes

Donut

162 views ·

If you were a food, what would you be?

Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."

Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."

Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."

Condom

17 views ·

A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.

The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."

School Shooter

94 views ·

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

Tomato

11 views ·

🧀: C’mon tomato!

🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.

🧀: You’re a mile away.

🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.

Cheese grater

7 views ·

About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...

He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

Sex

7 views ·

Why don’t old people have sex?

When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?

Cheese grater

15 views ·

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

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  • Plane

    39 views ·

    Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?

    People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.