Character jokes
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
Man, I didn't know they put Humpty Dumpty back together!
"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."
"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever.
And also GTA logic.
if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.
"Are you related to Yoda?"
"Because yo-delicious!"
Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy," to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, I'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy."
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
Q: What's the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.
Your forehead is so big, Humpty Dumpty didn’t want to fall off!
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
You look like Megamind, drug dealer.
Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!
Who is Tracy Latimer's least favourite Beauty and the Beast character?
GASton.
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.
I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Who was Goldilocks' best friend?
Goldie.
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!