Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he’s dead.
Celebrity Jokes
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One was famous for walking on the moon, (pause), the other fucked young boys.
What's Michael Jackson's nickname?
Nivea black and white.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't Fortnite.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't use WhatsApp.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
Yo mama so ugly, she made the band One Direction go the other direction!
