What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
Your forehead's so big that Michael Jackson could moonwalk across that b*tch.
"Hee hee touched me."
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
what was Juice WRLD before he was famous?
Answer: alive.
I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.
Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.
Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: Good night!
Prince: Why?
Gwen: Because...now good night!
Prince: We can work some things out?
Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!
To be continued
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, you're in my sun (son)."
I should name my dog Ariana Grande.
That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
I was invited into a celebrity's house, that's what I told the cops at least...
Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop.
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
