Cant jokes
Why can't orphanages play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window, and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down, and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.” I know.
A Karen is so stupid, she can't even cross the hairline!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
What were the terrorist of 9/11 thinking?
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we'll have to go through it.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat!
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive. Must be Asian.
Why can orphans only have iPhones 14s? Because they can't have a home button.
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."