Cant jokes
An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.
"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
Why can’t Asian people make a white baby?
Because two wongs don’t make a white.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they will never get home.
My brother caught Covid last month.
First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"
I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents can't!
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
Why can't two Chinese make a white baby?
Because two Wongs don't make a white.
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
Why can’t orphans have a good childhood?
Because they could not go to theme parks! 😅😅
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They never reach home.
Why can't orphans play softball?
Because they don't know where home base is.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?