Cant jokes
What idiot said to Stephen Hawking, "You can't run before you can walk"?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it could not find home.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."
Gun
What's one thing gay people can't draw?
A straight line.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have a home screen.
Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?
Because they can't make themselves at home.
Why can’t Kurt Cobain ride in the passenger seat?
Because he doesn’t like when someone calls "shotgun!"
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why is an orphan's least favorite day field trip day?
Because they can't get a parent's signature.
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home plate is.
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause there's no home base...
Why can orphans type? Because they can’t find the home row.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Insomnia.
You'll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that... Well now I can't cry myself to sleep anymore...
Why can't the English play chess? Because they lost their queen. And why can't the US play chess? Because they lost their towers.