Cant jokes
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
Why can’t orphans live?
They don’t have parents.
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.
Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.
"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"
"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."
When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.
The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.
After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."
"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"
Why do any orphans have sex?
Because they can't call anyone "daddy."
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
What is yellow and can’t swim? A school, but full of drowning kids! 🤣🤣🤣
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't hit a home run.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
What's long, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What is big, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause there is no home to run to.