Cant jokes
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't hit a home run.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
What's long, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What is big, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause there is no home to run to.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't go home.
You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
Why can’t orphans ride bikes?
Because they don’t have parent supervision.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they will never get home.
You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?
You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.