Canning jokes

How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.

Me: GUYS GUYS I CAN STOP 9/11.

My friend: How?

Justin: Justin!

A Roman guy walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Can I have 5 beers please?"

Me and my twin when we share a pizza: there can be only one!

Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.

What day can you have sex on?

Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.

I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.

What is the difference between a school 🏫 and a human?

A human can walk, and a school 🏫 cannot walk.

What can orphans not get when playing a sport?

A home run!

How can a man make the world safer?

By having the chop.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Madam.

Madam who?

Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!

A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.

The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"

The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."

I'm supposed to put a joke here.

But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?

I'm sure you'll laugh.

Dad: Uh, yeah!

Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!

Parents: Sex!

Son: What?

Parents: Look, you can spectate!

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school today? And...

What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?

You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.

Armless child: Can you give me a hand??

Me: Ok.

What time is it when you get home and you can't walk home?

Yo mama so hot, she can fit in a mug.

What do you think of your mom? I can do it.