Canning jokes
Can you guys check out my joke, please?
Why did the orphan finally go to church? So they could call someone "father."
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.
Why is the fanny flat? Because so it can flop about.
Memes
Random post #5 (you can dislike it. i dont rlly care actually…)
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.
"Brian, can I see that paper for a sec?"
When you don't wear earrings for a long time, the hole can close, and it hurts so much when you want to put it back. 🙄🙄 😁😁😁🤣
I'm bored so can y'all ask me some questions and I have to answer them?
People go to places to see Harry Potter live, but you can just go to the abortion place and see something disappear.
What’s one food orphans can eat?
Homemade.
If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"