Canning jokes

Why can't men play baseball?

Because no one can take the word "balls" seriously anymore.

Why can orphans only have iPhones 14s? Because they can't have a home button.

I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.

I'm sorry, but I can only process text. Please provide the joke as text.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see their parents.

Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.

Why is the oldest iPhone an orphan?

It can't get the iPhone XI or XR. It doesn't have a home button.

What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.

I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.

Where can you donate an aborted fetus?

Your local pizzeria.

Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.

Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.

What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.

Yo head so big I can skate on yo head.

I'm talking bout real real big, set a plate on yo head, charge a phone on yo head, build a home on yo head, studio wide, write a song on yo head.

"Back To The Future"-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY, Marty, but NEVER go to the year 2021.....

Me: Mrs., can I read my book?

Teacher: Sure.

Me: *watching my Chromebook*

Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.

Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?

So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.

You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.

Why can an orphan not do school work?

Because they have to take their work home to their parents.