Canning jokes
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and give her it so she can bleed more.
The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.
Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see their parents.
Memes
Good song
Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.
Why is the oldest iPhone an orphan?
It can't get the iPhone XI or XR. It doesn't have a home button.
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
What's the difference between a blind man and a window?
The window can see through itself.
I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
I'm sorry, but I can only process text. Please provide the joke as text.
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because you can take it so quickly.
Every bad joke can become a good joke with a good delivery, but abortion jokes, they have no delivery.
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
Why can you hit an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.