Canning jokes

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.

What question can you never answer yes to?

Answer: Are you asleep yet?

"Gwen, can we talk..."

I feel weird to ask this, but can anyone guess my real name?

#Imbored

Why can orphans play baseball?

They can’t find home plate.

Why do orphans play with Barbies?

So they can have a home :)

Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.

Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.

What has to be broken before you can use it?

Answer: An egg.

What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?

Answer: A promise.

I just bought a book about lamps...

So I can do some light reading over the weekend.

Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?

Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.

Every bad joke can become a good joke with a good delivery, but abortion jokes, they have no delivery.

What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.

Yo, edgeline go so far back that I can now mow a lawn perfectly.

Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"

The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."

A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.

He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there's a knock at the door.

He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says, "What was that all about?"

What's the difference between a blind man and a window?

The window can see through itself.

Why is death taken so lightly?

Because you can take it so quickly.