Canning jokes

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.

Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!

Can I pin your corpse to a tree?

What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”

Can I ask you a question? Nut now!

You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.

I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.

I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"

Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.

Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?

Because she can listen to call music.

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

Not like they can tell their parents.

Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?

Neither can be found.

Why do orphans love going to church?

So they can call someone "father."

How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?

You can roast chicken.

Why can an orphan not have homework? They do not have a home.

What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.

Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?