Canning jokes
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.
Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
Memes
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
Why can't orphans ever be criminals?
He is not wanted.
Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
Hey Ryan, what do you call a wall so large no man can conquer?
Answer: Ryan's forehead.
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
Why does a blind man still have eyes?
So he can see that he can't see.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Which country can swim?
Finland. Get it? Fin Land?