But jokes

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)

I teach orphans.

But the problem is I can't give them homework.

When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!

It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.

I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.

I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.

It was a breathtaking experience.

Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.

Employer: Can you perform under pressure?

Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."

I have an orphan joke.

But it needs parental guidance.

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.

I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.

Because I am an orphan.

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.