Brother

Brother jokes

Accident

  • Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.

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    Countryside

  • You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.

    You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."

    Prank

  • Hi, this is a good prank I did.

    So, my brother LOVES his phone and so... I put it in the toilet and then flushed it, but it wouldn't go down. So, then I gave it to him and he threw it and then it broke. HAHAHAHAHAHA

    (Prankster, tell me if you don't like me doing pranks because it is your thing.)

    Bye guys! I hope you liked this prank! (And his phone did not really break, it just cracked really bad lol)

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    Blowjob

  • I went home one day, and three guys—a Spanish guy, a Chinese guy, and a white guy—told me, "You should be proud of your sister. She won a trophy about knowing her flavor of meats." Then my sister told me that I was blindfolded, and she gave all of them a blowjob, and I had to guess which flavor that I was sucking on. I was right all the time, and they gave me a trophy. The Trophy says "Blowjobs of the Flavors." As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.

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  • Idiot

  • Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"

    The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"

    He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."

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    Chocolate

  • Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.

    Dad

  • Dad: Johnny! Johnny!

    Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?

    Dad: Did you hit your brother?

    Little Johnny: No, Papa!

    Dad: Telling lies?

    Little Johnny: No, Papa!

    Dad: Let me see your fist.

    Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!

    Dad: What is so funny?

    Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!

    Dad: >:(

    Little Johnny: What? It's true!

    Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.

    Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!

    Dad: Love you too, son.

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    Costume

  • I’m back and have a joke my friend said!

    Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.

    Person 2: What was it?

    Person 1: He went as himself.

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    Insult

  • 1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”

    2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.

    3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.

    Guy

  • So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"

    The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"

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    Bookshelf

  • My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.

    Hey, can I axe you a question?

    My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.

    Car

  • A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."

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    Disease

  • A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!