"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"
My son is broken: "I think at home!"
Happiness!
Broken Jokes
What did the rapper say to the broken vending machine?
"Yo, drop the BEAT!"
What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?
"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"
Leo is like a broken pencil... pointless.
What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?
"You broke the beat!"
What did the rapper say to his broken refrigerator?
"Yo, chill!"
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?
It comes with no strings attached.
I feel like the Twin Towers, I’m broken.
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"
