During this covid shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on. Should you be scared or dumb bastard is that just your boyfriend..
Elsa got a boyfriend and the boyfriend wanted to try anal. She was too keen but she just lay back and shouted “INTO THE UNKNOWN!”
Girlfriend after sex: how did you get so good at eating pussy? Boyfriend: my mom taught me
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex
Because her boyfriend said "who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
Hoow on god's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone? JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
Knock knock
Who’s there? Your Boyfriend Your Boyfriend who? Your Boyfriend who doesn’t love you! Bye
A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her. To not be outdone the blond retort's. Thats nothing once we we're in the kitchen I can't believe I didn't see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!
An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, cute lady! Woman: Leave me alone, you ugly two faced man! I already have a boyfriend. Man: Not for long! And then the man shoots the woman's boyfriend. Woman: How dare you murder such a beautiful man! Man: Now you shall be my girlfriend. Woman: Never. And then the man takes the seat that the woman's boyfriend was sitting in before. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder. Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly woman? Bleuch! Woman: What's it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men? And then the man orders flowers and candy. Bartender: We don't serve flowers, or candy. And the man shoots the bartender. Another man can't believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man, and throws him out.
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock, I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick but he said it doesn’t taste that bad so I’ll give it a shot
My boyfriend dumped me guess who came back crawling for his zimmer frame.....
Okay what do you call that purple thing your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend so for some weird reason? Dad better look out from Bob battery operated boyfriend hahaha
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend it was a good movie but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes through out the whole movie
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic. But I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery? Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you Girlfriend: Ok cool I won 12 dollars heres 6 and don't come back
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finallly text her boyfriend ̈ Show me your dick now ́
Hey my man why you got them damn old stanky looking whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins or boyfriend and girlfriend cause if y'all are go get married in color purple land.
This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar. An hour or so goes, then the new flame says, I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice,food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there? His friend ok, Watch this. He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool,pulls down his zipper and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin,cleaned himpulled up his zipper then jumped to his chair. Walked back to his new gay friend and said what do you think of that? MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that! His squeeze said wanna give it a try? I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey. how's that?
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me but it just made him sweat.
