Both jokes
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
Memes
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.
What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?
Both have eight legs.