Both jokes

Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.

I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.

Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.

The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.

They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"

What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.

What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.

My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."

What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's?

They both like to slide their meat between 10 year old buns.

What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

“They both blow heads.”

What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.

Random person: "Just turn the page and start over."

Me: "I'm not sure if you're telling me to be gay or uhhhh die but both are good options."

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave children's rooms with an empty sack.

What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?

They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.

What do gay people and mice have in common?

They both hate pussy cats!

What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?

They both hang...

It's not rape if you're both crying.

What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?

They both have no way home!