Body Image jokes
Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.
The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Luke looks like Big Chungus and Fat Sonic.
Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.
Me: I can only see fat.
What is Lizzo?
Big, fat, and ugly.
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Yo Mama so fat, she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button!
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"
Fat jokes and mom jokes😂
1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."
2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.
3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."
4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."
6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo mama so fat, she said the N-word!
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.
Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
What's the difference between me and Spongebob?
Spongebob can actually get ripped.