Body Image jokes

You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.

Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"

Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.

I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"

I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"

You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!

I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.

Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!

Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!

Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.

My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

How do you know if a chick is too fat?

If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.

What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?

... A quarter pounder with cheese.

What do girls and rocks have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

Yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people, she thinks it's a Twinkie, lmao xd.

Yo mama is so skinny, she makes friends with a snake.

You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!

I am a fat girl.

What do you call a flat chested emo girl?

Cutting board.

You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!