Body Image jokes

You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.

I am a fat girl.

What do you call a flat chested emo girl?

Cutting board.

How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.

Yo Mamma's so fat that she falls from both sides of the bed.

If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

I only trust people that like big butts.

We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?

Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.

Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.

*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?

girl: Are you saying I'm fat?

I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.

What do you call a flat-chested emo?

A chopping board.

You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.

You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."