Body Image jokes

How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.

Yo Mamma's so fat that she falls from both sides of the bed.

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

I only trust people that like big butts.

We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.

You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.

Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?

Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.

*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?

girl: Are you saying I'm fat?

I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.

What do you call a flat-chested emo?

A chopping board.

You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.

You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."

Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?

A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩

When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.

Aitana is so fat that Thanos had to clap for her to disappear.