Body Image jokes

You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.

Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!

I am a fat girl.

What do you call a flat chested emo girl?

Cutting board.

I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Yo Mamma's so fat that she falls from both sides of the bed.

How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.

If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

I only trust people that like big butts.

What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?

Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.

We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.

*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?

girl: Are you saying I'm fat?

I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.

What do you call a flat-chested emo?

A chopping board.

You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."

You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.