Body Image jokes

You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.

I am a fat girl.

What do you call a flat chested emo girl?

Cutting board.

How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.

Yo Mamma's so fat that she falls from both sides of the bed.

I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.

If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?

Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

I only trust people that like big butts.

What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?

Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.

Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!

*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?

girl: Are you saying I'm fat?

I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.

What do you call a flat-chested emo?

A chopping board.

You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.