Body Image jokes

A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.

The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."

Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.

Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.

After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.

Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"

The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."

I only trust people that like big butts.

I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.

How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.

Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!

What is Lizzo?

Big, fat, and ugly.

What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.

I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So you can tell them apart from the feminists.

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.

I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.

Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!

Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.

Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.

You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!

My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

As a woman, why is your stomach bigger than your bums? 😒

Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."

Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"

What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?

They both have plastic in them.