Body Image jokes
How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"
"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
I only trust people that like big butts.
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.