Mom:they say our kid neighbor has a blue blood Son:really? Also 2 hour later Son:mom the kid doesnt have a blue blood Mom:son i-
Sorry for my bad english U-U
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgent coming in tomorrow im super excited to work with him the next day we had to do our first ever open hart surgery so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient so we finished the surgery and went out side for a smoke and we were talking I said why did you keep the patients blood on your glove? He replied we in my free time I test it for anything diseases HIV the next day I got invited to his house and we had some drinks I said this is amazing red tea what is in it just the 2000 people you have cut opened .
Roses are red Your blood is tooyou look like a monkey and belong in a zoo Do not worry i will be there too not in a cage but laghing at you
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood. Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.
Fat person: "Hey, whats up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure"
Period blood is like KFC, because it's finger licking good!
Guys I'm back....
Here's my joke
What I'd blue and red all over? Blood in the water of a shark attack victim
What happens when you hear a Mary Brittain beating a Thomas You cook spaghetti with his blood
Yo mama so fat, her blood type is mayonnaise.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system. He agrees and the doctors turn to dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo"
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion
Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrement
The person living there points and says, "begone fowl blood-drinker"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames leaving nothing but ash.
My girlfriend said to me dear i think you have hit an animal theirs blood and dents all over the bonnet
I said no love, im not waiting for a black lives matter rally
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so see can bleed more
when your mom says it will all be ok if you just .........(bang) *their is blood on the floor*
