What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
Teacher, there is 3 birds 1 gets shot how many are left.
Student, non they flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, acautly 2 but i like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there is 3 women eating ice cream 1 licking it 1 drinking it melted and 1 sucking it which one is married.
Teacher,the one sucking it?
Student, no the one with the ring but i like the way you think.
Why did the Hummingbird ham because he forgot the the words
What do you call gulls in the sea? Seagulls!
Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.
B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
What did the swearing hen say?
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK! (It's cluck)
What did the cussing rooster say?
Cock-a-poo-dle phew!
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
What is an owl that wears armor?
My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck someone would die later that exact day she found out she had cancer.11 months later my grandpa died of a stroke I hope to see them in heaven I’d like to meet them pls comment good things I really really love them even though I didn’t get to meet them😭😭😭
One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."
Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"
