Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.
He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.
I asked, "Where are you going?"
He said, "Camp Bin Laden."
I asked, "What do they do there?"
He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."
I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"
He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."
Bin Laden was the hide and seek champion for 10 years, 2001-2011.
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.
Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.
Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden.
Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
"Jingle bells, Osama smells."
Jasper likes little girls and Bin Laden.
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
