Bigness jokes
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
My donation to the orphanage :)
You're a big Z!
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
Mother: We need to talk about sex...
Jason: Oh, sex, tell me what do you wanna know.
Jason had a big whooping from his mother and big spanking from his dad.
Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.
Sike, I lied. I like big black men.
Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.
Sharb Glarv Jug jug Milky Jar jar Pobbies Mm yum yum Rawr Big pooboes.
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
"I fancy Hunter, my big sugar daddy," said the orphan, clearly lying.
I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.
Why do cows have big [udders]? Because they have big balls.
Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.
Why is Jupiter so big? Because it works out!
Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to get grapes off a bush, the bush says, "Bitch, I never thought they can grow that big!"
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!