Being jokes

You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.

What did the mama nut say to her son?

“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”

What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?

“To be or nut to be.”

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy/mommy."

Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.

Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.

How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?

Act like a nut.

If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.

It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?

People complain we are overpopulated.

Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

If an orphan was Spiderman, which movie would he be in?

"No Way Home."

Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?

It's always someone you know.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.

Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!

Two Twin Towers topple to terrorists terrorizing twenty to-be-doomed trip takers.

When red do be sus, though.

What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?

They can't be way too loud.

Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.

We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.