Being jokes
"So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."
There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?
Bitches do be so flat, you would think they have breast cancer.
If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.
Yo momma so fat when she went in the Skeld, she couldn't be ejected.
If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.
Run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours. It will be fun!
Why can't male orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
If you watch "Jaws" backward, it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?
Because they want to call someone "daddy."
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.