Why wouldn’t Mrs Grapes 🍇 leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
I had bullies behind me on the street but they were too fat and slow so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.
Look at the bright side ☀️😁! The worst 😔 is behind us.
kid with hallucinations and cancer on jeopardy game show
what's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their teams bench.
After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
“Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”
She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward
One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race. What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way. 2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind. 3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
The colours red, white and blue are the colours of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
A teacher is doing an experiment, about taste. she tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. she gives Suzy a pineapple one, Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. that is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn, the teacher hands him a honey flavor one, Jhonny chews it for a while, then says, "Teacher, I don't know what it is.". the teacher tries to give him a hint and says "it's what you parents call each other when your alseep". immedietly the boy behind Jhonney screams "spit it out Jhonny it's an asshole!!!"
A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.. Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.. Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》 The one on the phone: 《Oh hi i'm Jeff i just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you》 Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! this is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! it gets boring!》
But sadly it wasn't a joke and she cried alot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.
You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days. But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
I got pranked so many times once I saw two wheels rolling down the street I hear this noise I look behind me there's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming "HELP I CANT GO ANYWERE'' but I walked away I knew it was a prank
If your reading this right now Then the jokes on you Because I'm right behind ya Mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey
No Seriously
I'm right behind ya
Mary is hanging out and the angel Gabriel descends behind her and she looks behind her and says Jesus Christ and the angel Gabriel said so you already know
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said "i farted and the building behind me blew up".
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
So two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river. One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. Un Deux Trois Cat was nowhere to be seen. So One Two Three Cat figured that Un Deux Trois Cat sank.
Kate:can we have a threesome? Trevor:sure The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing and then he feels something going up his back end he goes to punch the person behind him but then he turns on the let and it was Kate behind him and hes been fucking the guy the whole time.
