Asshole.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery story. The young boy then screams to a random woman “ your an ugly bitch”. The mother grabs her son, and says “ I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.
This is mean af yall need to stop this like wtf what would happen if u all grew up and u was like this like dam
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
How do you punish Stevie wonder for bad behavior? You move all of the furniture around
Mooning is very astrological!
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
Yo momma's so stupid, she took a shower for 20 minutes after she heard a DIRTY JOKE!
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
