Beat jokes
What do you do when you're bored?
Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
What does a bear beat off with?
His bear hands.
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
I caught my wife cheating on me.
I beat my son and grounded him.
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."
Without Ronaldo, United would have been: - Eliminated from the UCL in groups! - 13th in the league!
Without Messi, PSG would have been: - Still 1st in the league. - Better chance at beating RM in the UCL.
Who's supposed to be the goat?
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
Russia be like we're strong, gets ass beat up by a comedian with a hook nose...
#i stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦
Look, an orphan, let's go beat 'em up.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.
Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Let's beat that "lEtS gET 69 LikEs anD CoMmEntS" with 21 dislikes on this post. #21gang
Beating the Akatsuki is easy... Naruto should've used painkillers instead. :)
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!