Bars jokes

Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

Be smart, not stupid.

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.

The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"

Why did the rapper become a carpenter?

To build some SOLID BARS.

Why was the rapper afraid of elevators?

He was worried about getting stuck between the bars.

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

A money manager who counts bars.

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he knew how to count his bars!

Helen Keller walked into a bar, a chair, and a table.

Helen Keller walked into a bar...

And into a table, and into a chair.

Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."

The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.

I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.

Helen Keller walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and a wall.

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?

Barlos.

Two air vents walked into a bar.

The third one ducted.

A sandwich walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.

What snack do aliens like?

Mars Bars.