Bars jokes

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

Be smart, not stupid.

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.

The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"

Why did the rapper become a carpenter?

To build some SOLID BARS.

Why was the rapper afraid of elevators?

He was worried about getting stuck between the bars.

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

A money manager who counts bars.

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he knew how to count his bars!

Helen Keller walked into a bar, a chair, and a table.

Helen Keller walked into a bar...

And into a table, and into a chair.

Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."

The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.

I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.

Helen Keller walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and a wall.

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?

Barlos.

Two air vents walked into a bar.

The third one ducted.

A sandwich walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.

What snack do aliens like?

Mars Bars.

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.