Bars jokes

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."

The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.

I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.

Helen Keller walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and a wall.

Helen Keller walked into a bar...

And into a table, and into a chair.

Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.

Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.

Two air vents walked into a bar.

The third one ducted.

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?

Barlos.

A sandwich walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

Helen Keller walked into a bar, a chair, and a table.

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

What snack do aliens like?

Mars Bars.

A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.

The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?

The Milky Way!

A guy walks into a bar, then a table, and then a chair.

Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?

A: Ow!

A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”