New Bad Jokes - Page 29 - Worst Jokes Ever

I told a joke to an orphan, turns out he wasn't an orphan...

So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

Papyrus: Sans, your jokes are bad!

Sans: I don’t care; I got thick skin.

Today was a bad day. First, my ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver.

Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?

His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.

Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.

My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.

Teacher: *calls you up to the board*. You: Ok. *Gets intense boner* *has to fart really bad* You: F***!!!!!!!

Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.

How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.

Question: How bad is German WiFi?

Answer: It's the wurst.

If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.

Craig Duncan is a child soldier with bad breath and has killed 5 people (on Fortnite).

Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.

Why do people have sex? Because they're dumb.

Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."

One time this kid came back from school and said, "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said, "Good news please," and the boy said, "I got 100% on my math test today." and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said, "Now to the bad news, I LIED!"