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Back Jokes

Why do humans hate aliens?

Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.

The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."

"You should tell your parents," I replied back.

The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.

You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher. What?

Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.

Teacher. Why water?

Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!

Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."

Vortex: "You'll do what?"

Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"

*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*

Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."