Aviation jokes

What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?

A biplane.

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.

It was women driving the planes for 9/11.

Stop with the 9/11 jokes.

They're not gonna fly.

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.

Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?

He was told to high-jack it.

This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.

Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!

Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."

The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

When you got on an airplane, the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.

What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both got taken out by two jets.

My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.

My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

Why did the parachute refuse to open?

Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.

My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

Sully: Praised after landing in the Hudson River.

Garuda Indonesia 421:

Sully's co-pilot:

Why can't science be combined with religion?

Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.

What plate goes to Bikini Bottom?

Malaysia Flight 370.

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)