Aviation jokes
Sully: Praised after landing in the Hudson River.
Garuda Indonesia 421:
Sully's co-pilot:
Why can't science be combined with religion?
Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
What plate goes to Bikini Bottom?
Malaysia Flight 370.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.
The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
What is a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it sure as hell ain't plain.
I got kicked out of flight school, so I decided to learn from the experienced pilots (Isis).
What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?
Nothing, planes can't talk.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
Stop making jokes about 9/11. My dad died in 9/11.
Best pilot of Southern Arabia
Allahu Akbar.
Stop making jokes about 9/11, my dad died in 9/11.
BEST PILOT OF SOUTHERN ARABIA
ALAKBAR
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
lmao why do people think they can fly?
Were Japanese suicide bombers taught to fly, or was it just a quick crash course?
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
What did the plane that crashed on the ground say? Let me crash between those legs, girl!
Sorry, cringy joke.