Astrophysics jokes

So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...

Oh, wait.

When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.

What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?

Meals on wheels.

What’s better than Stephen Hawking?

Stephen walking.

Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.

I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.

Question: What did the sun say to the little star?

Answer: Are you my SUN?

What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?

Stand-up comedy.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?

Rock and Roll.

What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.

Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.

Why is the Moon red today?

The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.

Uranus be like, "Oh look, I'm Uranus. Imagine how disgusted I feel."

Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.

What planet is related to planet butts? Uranus.

Why is Uranus like paper? Because you do see the other side.