Have you eaten at the restaurant on the Moon? It's got good food, but no atmosphere.
Astronomy Jokes
Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon?
A: A Luna-Tic!
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
The earth is not round.
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What do you call a black hole?
Butt hole.
If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?
Science flies you to the moon.
Religion flies you into towers.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
My uncle got sued from NASA the other day. He claimed to be the first one to enter Uranus.
You look tall for being a yellow dwarf. You are 432,450 miles tall!
You look tall for being 432,450 miles tall!
Science took us to the moon, and religion took us into a skyscraper.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
Why does the Sun go to school?
To get brighter!
