A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
Today i was asked to go out by 17 Woman. Well i was in the Woman bathroomđź’€
so i was sitting on the couch with a woman,and i asked her,does this napkin smell like chloroform?
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck? I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.
Why don't orphans like to get lost??
Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? When he asked who the best composer was they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
I asked a emo do they get jealous when their phone dies
What's worse than locking your keyes in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover so one of her friends asks when was the last time you had an orgasm? she replies 3 days ago dad comes bursting in i KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
today, i asked my phone, "siri why am i still single" and it activated the front camera
So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu.. off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work
man asks a women: Are you a school? women: No why? man: Oh i wanted to shoot my kid inside of you.
Why did the catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole? because someone asked him what would he do for a klondike bar
YOUR MAMA SO FAT WHEN SHE ASKED FOR A WATER BED THEY PUT A BLAKET OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously I had to reply with "Garnish".
