Ares jokes

Being an orphan isn’t all bad.

On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.

Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?

Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."

Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What do Indians call their father when they are born?

Data.

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)

Who are the fastest readers?

9/11 victims, they went through 91 stories in 11.2 seconds.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.

Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?

Shut up and cut the coke.

Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

Dads are like boomerangs, I hope.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they couldn't run home.

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

I always think that percussions are golden, but cheeks are brass.

Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?

They’re always spotted!

Are you a knife?

Because I want to deep throat you.