Ares jokes
America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
Why are Americans such good chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
Person 1: How smart are you?
Person 2: Really smart.
Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?
Person 2: 1 ghost is left.
Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I tell you, you look pretty, but all you do is look like a poo.
If you read this, you are gay.
Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?
They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.
What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?
Their parents are extinct.
Why are nuts on boys?
How many feet are in feet?
The depressed kid getting bullied.
The bully: "You are useless."
The depressed kid: "I know."
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
Why can't you play with a cheetah?
Because they are cheat-ahs!
Why are the Twin Towers and after girls kill all boys similar?
There used to be two but now there's one...
America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.
White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"
The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."
1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"
Why do white people carry Confederate flags?
To remind us that they are losers.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like your's belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you.