Ares jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is yours, Facebook will do.

What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?

Criminals are wanted.

When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"

I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?

I love working at an orphanage.

There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.

What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?

Criminals are wanted.

All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.

Heavier babies are delivered by crane.

I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

The woman's body is shaped like a penis. If see a naked female body bent over, her butt looks like testicles, while her head can be seen as the head of a penis.

This is the same if she lies down right side up with her knees up and legs spread. If she lays upside down with her knees up and legs spread, her boobs are like testicles and her pelvic area is like the head of a penis. If you look at the shape of a vagina, it’s shaped like a penis with the lips looking like testicles and the clit looks like the schlong.

God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.

Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."

Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.

Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your mom isn't here because she doesn't love you.

The reason why people are short is because their dad never came back with the milk.

What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?

There are twenty of them.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"

Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.

So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.

WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Who can jump the highest?

Emo kids, some are still in the air.