Ares jokes

Russian Forces

  • I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.

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    Mom

  • Like this comment if: - Your mom is sus - Your mum is sus

    Dislike if: - You are horny.

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    Trash Can

  • "Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."

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    Guy

  • Popular guy in class: I am so funny.

    Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.

    Relationship

  • Dad: Are you gay?

    Kid: Yes.

    10 days later.

    Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

    Dad: I thought you were gay?

    Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

    Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

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    Orphanage

  • A guy sees a kid crying, and the guy walks up to the kid and asks, "Where are your parents?"

    God, I love working at an orphanage!

    Weight

  • You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."

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    Difference

  • What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.

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