Ares jokes
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
The more emos there are, the less emos there are.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."
"Son, stay out of the drawer."
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
Why was Hitler broke?
The gas prices are outrageous.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
When an orphan takes a photo, it’s also a family portrait!
Btw, if people find these offensive, why are you here? Why are you searching orphan jokes anyway?
Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more inappropriate.
Guys, you don't need to be inappropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the LGBTQ+ category. #PRIDE
Anyway, I myself am not LGBTQ+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!
I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.
I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"
And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"
And I said: "Your parents."
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."
If an emo and a leaf are in a tree, which one will fall first?
Answer: The leaf. The rope saved the emo.
I smacked an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I saw a kid in the yard and I asked where are your parents.
Then I got fired from the orphanage.
Bored? Beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?