Ares jokes
I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
Why are orphans not on this?
They don’t want to listen to the dumbos on here!
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
Why are orphans sad when playing Roblox?
There isn't any parents on Roblox.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
Like if you are emo.
Like if you are gay.
You are so skinny that they won't let you ride a fucking roller coaster because you flew before.
The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.
Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)
Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
You are so ugly my man died.
They say people are 75% water.
But I’m 75% an orphan and 25% useless.