Ares jokes
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
What did Al-Shehhi say to Mohamed Atta?
"We are on time!"
So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"
Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"
Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"
Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
I have a new joke.
My life. Wait... jokes are supposed to have meaning.
What are Russia's favorite netball positions?
Goal Shooter and Wing Attack.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
What are an orphan's favorite shoes?
White Vans.
How do paedophiles greet people?
"How are you, kid?"
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.
Why can't you play memory snap in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents!
Me: Where are they?
Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
Orphan, why can’t I watch a PG movie?
Because they are Parental Guidance.