Ares jokes

6, 7, and 8 are all scared of 10, but 10 is also scared. Why was 10 scared?

Because it was stuck between 9 and 11.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.

Why are priests called father? Because it's too sus to call them daddy!

I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?

Because they can’t stand up for themselves.

They are hairy.

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.

Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."

Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."

"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."

Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

Are you a toaster?

Because I wanna take a bath with you.

Emos are dark people....

...So why are they all white?

Goths are even darker...

SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?

You're just big and good.

Why can't America play chess?

There are missing two towers.

Your mom's a whore, and so are you!

Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?

'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.

Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?

Why are orphans so sad?

Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."

Are you a cheese 🧀 from Denmark? Because your "guta."