Ares jokes
Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?
How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?
There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"
I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
Mickey: I want a divorce!
Minney: Are you fricking crazy?
Mickey: No, I'm fricking Daisy!
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
Twin Towers are mad. Instead of hotdogs, they got "plain."
"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought you can mix too.
Why are orphans so successful?
When they were told to go big or go home, they only had one option.
Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because the parents are in every episode.
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.
Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!
Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?
Are you free tomorrow?
No, I’m expensive, sorry. 💵💸
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"