Appearance jokes

So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!

Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.

Your forehead is so big you could have put an H for Kobe to land on.

"You is so black your mama fainted."

Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"

Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.

Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.

You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.

You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.

You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.

Your mama is so ugly even Dora can't explore her.

Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.

Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.

You look as fat as a pig.

Kid: You're so fat!

Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.

Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.

The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."

The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.

The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.

The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"

I got 99 problems but a chin ain't one.

Yo mama is so ugly, if she got a pound for every boy that found her unattractive, boys would find her attractive.