Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
What do you call a fat midget?
A pig.
Why's missy Shaw such a slug? Because she's obese. Hahahahahaha!
Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone.
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
Kim Jong-Un thicc af.
Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the devil read the Bible.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!
